So you have met the man of your dreams and you are ready to embark upon a wonderful, loving, sexual relationship with the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Sounds like all your problems are over, right? Unfortunately not.
Recent research has revealed over 43 per cent of women have sexual hang ups which could cost them a relationship with the person they could get happily married to.
If it’s not the size of your body, sexual inexperience, pleasing the man of your dreams or being inhibited in the bedroom, you are not alone in your fears about living up to what is expected between the sheets.
While many women think they may be alone in their fears about problems in the bedroom, one in two women feel exactly the same.
There is no easy way to pinpoint why women suffer sexual issues with new or long term partners. It can affect anyone at any time of life or at any stage of a relationship. But what is needed is an understanding, patience and a realization there is help at hand.
So how do you get over the problems?
Well, firstly you should realise if you are in a new relationship you are not the only person who will be nervous in the bedroom with a new partner. Recent research has shown men are actually more likely to be more nervous about encountering a new sexual relationship than a woman as they feel the bigger pressure “to perform”.
And unless you have met a lothario or someone who simply does not care who he sleeps with, the man will be there for one reason – and that is you. So do not have an inferior complex about anything or try to compete with his previous partners. Try to relax and enjoy the moment.
But of course there are physical issues at stake. From pain during intercourse due to vaginal dryness to difficulty achieving an orgasm, there is a lot to learn about the most common sex issues for women. The best thing is to talk with your doctor or sexual councellor. Of course, at the start of a relationship, everything can be fine when you get over the initial fears. But the longer you stay in a relationship, the harder it can actually become.
Physical, medical and emotional issues can also dampen your sexual desire as well as a feeling of going through the motions “yet again”. Depression, anxiety, stress, money issues and children if they have come into the picture, can also throw a wrench in your sexual desire. Most commonly, fatigue, medications and attitudes towards sex have the most influence when it comes to your interest in making whoopee. Yet a lack of libido can be easily be cured and a chat with your local doctor can go a long way to sorting out the issue.
The physical side, however, if lasts more than a few weeks can lead to tension in the bedroom and in the relationship. Your partner may feel you no longer desire him or, worse still, have feelings you are finding happiness in the bedroom elsewhere. So how do you bring back the fizz into the bedroom? Obviously there are sexual toys and role playing you can enlist for assistance. Experts say the simple way to restart your love life is to take it a step at a time. Start by just holding hands in bed, cuddling or sharing an intimate kiss. These are sure fire ways of relighting the fire again.
Experts say that a lack of interest in making love – even with partners we adore in many other ways – is not as unusual as we might think. “A disappearing sex drive is a common problem – sometimes in women as young as her 30’s — and while it hasn’t reached epidemic proportions yet, I think we’re only seeing a small portion of the women who are affected,” says Rebecca Amaru, MD, a gynecologist at Mount Sinai Medical Center in New York City. And there could also be physical causes which lay away from the bedroom such as diabetes, heart disease, menopause, kidney or liver failure both in men and women. The biggest thing to remember you are not alone in any fears or anxieties. Go and talk to your friends or medical professionals. And love to you all.